What its like

Madison Talkin to her Daddy in Iraq




So, they (Rear Command) keep changing his arrival time and date. But he has started his journey. And I know he is coming. Maybe even on Monday @ 2200. Maybe.

Here's how it feels:

It feels like there has been this giant hole inside of me for a year (I am trying not to tear up as I type) and every second that passes, the hole gets smaller and smaller. And when he actually touches down on Oahu and I run into his arms the hole will finally close.

Our baby is so excited too. She just wants to "wrestle" her daddy. That is her plan. She wants her friend back. He is possibly her best friend. And she just wants to play with him again. She has picked out her "Daddy Coming Home" outfit and is ready to roll out to the welcome home ceremony.

Speaking of which, the welcome home ceremony is frankly a nightmare. We all get to sit inside a hot and muggy airplane hangar on Wheeler and wait and wait and wait on metal folding chairs with a couple hundred other families. When the Soldiers finally get bussed to the hanger they go into the back of the hanger in such a way that we cant see them. But, they are being filmed and a big screen that we can see shows them unloading and "organizing" duffel bags and other fun Army stuff.

It should be mentioned that there are A LOT of children in this audience. Hot and grumpy children who are probably crying at this point and don't quite understand why daddy doesn't just walk around the other side of the building and come and get them.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity the Soldiers file through a door and stand in Formation in front of us and we get to listen to some Army Brass tell us about Army Values and how wonderful our Soldiers are and blah blah blah blah. And it feels like this guy talks FOREVER! (Luckily, I can see my Soldier in Formation because he is really tall and frankly, you cant miss him).

So, after this incredibly long speech it seems to occur to the speaker that perhaps we would like to go to our Soldier rather then listen to him go on and on.

So.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................he releases them from Formation and the most incredible chaos ensues.

I cannot describe the sound of this scene. Its crying and laughing and crying and yelling and crying and kissing and its the most amazing sound in the world. And little children are laughing and everyone is talking at once and the nifty metal chairs we have been sitting on for the past two hours are falling over and COs are uselessly yelling and trying to regain some sort of order.

And to attempt to describe the feeling is probably impossible. Once the command is given to drop out of Formation and the crowd surges forward its like being in a really loud, fast tunnel as you try to zero in on your soldier. And for a split second you panic and you think you wont find him and he is somehow gone and you will never see him again. And you are struggling through the crowd holding on to a little hand that you are pulling behind you and when you finally find him and get closer and closer to him the tears start falling and suddenly it gets VERY quiet. You can hear your pulse and your legs feel wobbly and you aren't sure they are your legs because they wont do what you are telling them to do. And all you can see is his face and it looks like a dream. And then everything gets loud again and the next thing you know you are wrapped around him and you vow to never ever let him go again. You just hold on in case there has been a mistake and he has to leave again or maybe you are dreaming and if you hold on to him you wont wake up. And you feel a tug on your clothing and you realize that there is a five year old standing next to your leg who wants to be picked up. And he lets go of you and reaches down to pick her up and through your tears you realize that you are whole again and he is really really here............................................................

And thats what its like.