I have A LOT of pictures and things to talk about, but it will be awhile before I am ready to put it all in words.
So, in the meantime, here is a quick video.
And today was absolute MAGIC!
or cut and paste this address into your browser:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYazzWQKYMU
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
OK So heres what happened
So I have been obviously excited all day but this evening I overheard a conversation from our Rear D Commander that really tipped me over. Heres the conversation:
(warning: military lingo ahead)
Sgnt D: "Why are you guys sitting at Staff Duty? There is no one there. Why don't you guys just go home? We have to be at Wheeler at 0430 to set up for the welcome home ceremony?"
Soldier: "We were told to sit here in case the guys' flight gets in early."
And as soon as I heard that the tears started falling and I couldn't stop them. The idea of his flight getting here early just completely tipped me all the way over.
Heres why:
In the back of my mind I haven't believed that he is really coming over. For example, I didn't spend the day cleaning. My Camaro is a mess, my room is a mess, I have a pile of dirty laundry etc......
In fact, I spent the day studying for a test I have to take on Wednesday. I haven't made any crazy welcome home signs, I don't even know where my camera is.
So what I did was run upstairs and grab my favorite pillow from my bed and sobbed and sobbed in it. I absolutely couldn't stop crying. I haven't cried that hard since I drove away from the deployment ceremony after they loaded onto the busses and they started to drive away.
And now that I have stopped crying enough to type I would like to share why I was crying. It felt like all of the trials and tribulations of the deployment suddenly descended on me at one time. All of the scrambling and acting tough and figuring it out all by myself stuff. All of the nights spent alone in our bed and all of the times I wanted to point something out to him and tell him how my day was but he wasn't there kinda of stuff. All of the trips to the emergency room alone. The first day of school alone. The sitting at recitals alone. The Christmas morning with no one to snuggle with while the kids opened presents. All of that just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Everything that we have missed this year occurred to me all at once. The fact that his flight might get here early allowed me to feel all of these feelings that I have been holding inside of me for a whole year. All at once.
(Enter Journey Song here: "Highway run....under the midnight sun..." or "Lying beside you. Here in the dark....softly you whisper...you're so sincere.....)
The idea that Madison wont need to stay at a babysitters anymore, because her daddy can pick her up and he can get dinner ready and put her too bed.
All of that pressure just left me and all of the grief hit me simultaneously. And all I could do was sob with relief.
Also, the fact that he is on a plane that might get here early means that he is safe and that a late IED is not going to take out his convoy. Or a rouge sniper isnt going to shoot him or any other myriad of stupid superstitious things that go through a deployed spouse's mind,
He is safe. Our family is safe. And his flight might get here early!
I am going to hug my pillow and spend my last night alone!
(warning: military lingo ahead)
Sgnt D: "Why are you guys sitting at Staff Duty? There is no one there. Why don't you guys just go home? We have to be at Wheeler at 0430 to set up for the welcome home ceremony?"
Soldier: "We were told to sit here in case the guys' flight gets in early."
And as soon as I heard that the tears started falling and I couldn't stop them. The idea of his flight getting here early just completely tipped me all the way over.
Heres why:
In the back of my mind I haven't believed that he is really coming over. For example, I didn't spend the day cleaning. My Camaro is a mess, my room is a mess, I have a pile of dirty laundry etc......
In fact, I spent the day studying for a test I have to take on Wednesday. I haven't made any crazy welcome home signs, I don't even know where my camera is.
So what I did was run upstairs and grab my favorite pillow from my bed and sobbed and sobbed in it. I absolutely couldn't stop crying. I haven't cried that hard since I drove away from the deployment ceremony after they loaded onto the busses and they started to drive away.
And now that I have stopped crying enough to type I would like to share why I was crying. It felt like all of the trials and tribulations of the deployment suddenly descended on me at one time. All of the scrambling and acting tough and figuring it out all by myself stuff. All of the nights spent alone in our bed and all of the times I wanted to point something out to him and tell him how my day was but he wasn't there kinda of stuff. All of the trips to the emergency room alone. The first day of school alone. The sitting at recitals alone. The Christmas morning with no one to snuggle with while the kids opened presents. All of that just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Everything that we have missed this year occurred to me all at once. The fact that his flight might get here early allowed me to feel all of these feelings that I have been holding inside of me for a whole year. All at once.
(Enter Journey Song here: "Highway run....under the midnight sun..." or "Lying beside you. Here in the dark....softly you whisper...you're so sincere.....)
The idea that Madison wont need to stay at a babysitters anymore, because her daddy can pick her up and he can get dinner ready and put her too bed.
All of that pressure just left me and all of the grief hit me simultaneously. And all I could do was sob with relief.
Also, the fact that he is on a plane that might get here early means that he is safe and that a late IED is not going to take out his convoy. Or a rouge sniper isnt going to shoot him or any other myriad of stupid superstitious things that go through a deployed spouse's mind,
He is safe. Our family is safe. And his flight might get here early!
I am going to hug my pillow and spend my last night alone!
What I am going to do
So, the time and date of his arrival got changed (no surprises there). He is now arriving at 0600 tomorrow morning.
So what I have decided to do is to not bring Madison to the ceremony. Instead, I am going to drop her off at school like usual and go to the ceremony solo, pick him up and drive right over to her Kindergarten Classroom which is 5 minutes away from the hangar where the ceremony is! Two things about that: 1. She wont have to sit through any silly speeches and 2. He has NEVER seen her classroom. He has been deployed for her entire scholastic career. Which is really very sad when you think about it. So, I think that will surprise him as well.
And then we will drive away from Wheeler Elementary as a family..................
Friday, September 4, 2009
What its like
Madison Talkin to her Daddy in Iraq
So, they (Rear Command) keep changing his arrival time and date. But he has started his journey. And I know he is coming. Maybe even on Monday @ 2200. Maybe.
Here's how it feels:
It feels like there has been this giant hole inside of me for a year (I am trying not to tear up as I type) and every second that passes, the hole gets smaller and smaller. And when he actually touches down on Oahu and I run into his arms the hole will finally close.
Our baby is so excited too. She just wants to "wrestle" her daddy. That is her plan. She wants her friend back. He is possibly her best friend. And she just wants to play with him again. She has picked out her "Daddy Coming Home" outfit and is ready to roll out to the welcome home ceremony.
Speaking of which, the welcome home ceremony is frankly a nightmare. We all get to sit inside a hot and muggy airplane hangar on Wheeler and wait and wait and wait on metal folding chairs with a couple hundred other families. When the Soldiers finally get bussed to the hanger they go into the back of the hanger in such a way that we cant see them. But, they are being filmed and a big screen that we can see shows them unloading and "organizing" duffel bags and other fun Army stuff.
It should be mentioned that there are A LOT of children in this audience. Hot and grumpy children who are probably crying at this point and don't quite understand why daddy doesn't just walk around the other side of the building and come and get them.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity the Soldiers file through a door and stand in Formation in front of us and we get to listen to some Army Brass tell us about Army Values and how wonderful our Soldiers are and blah blah blah blah. And it feels like this guy talks FOREVER! (Luckily, I can see my Soldier in Formation because he is really tall and frankly, you cant miss him).
So, after this incredibly long speech it seems to occur to the speaker that perhaps we would like to go to our Soldier rather then listen to him go on and on.
So.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................he releases them from Formation and the most incredible chaos ensues.
I cannot describe the sound of this scene. Its crying and laughing and crying and yelling and crying and kissing and its the most amazing sound in the world. And little children are laughing and everyone is talking at once and the nifty metal chairs we have been sitting on for the past two hours are falling over and COs are uselessly yelling and trying to regain some sort of order.
And to attempt to describe the feeling is probably impossible. Once the command is given to drop out of Formation and the crowd surges forward its like being in a really loud, fast tunnel as you try to zero in on your soldier. And for a split second you panic and you think you wont find him and he is somehow gone and you will never see him again. And you are struggling through the crowd holding on to a little hand that you are pulling behind you and when you finally find him and get closer and closer to him the tears start falling and suddenly it gets VERY quiet. You can hear your pulse and your legs feel wobbly and you aren't sure they are your legs because they wont do what you are telling them to do. And all you can see is his face and it looks like a dream. And then everything gets loud again and the next thing you know you are wrapped around him and you vow to never ever let him go again. You just hold on in case there has been a mistake and he has to leave again or maybe you are dreaming and if you hold on to him you wont wake up. And you feel a tug on your clothing and you realize that there is a five year old standing next to your leg who wants to be picked up. And he lets go of you and reaches down to pick her up and through your tears you realize that you are whole again and he is really really here............................................................
And thats what its like.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
My Soldier
Well I thought I would share that my soldier is on his way home! He has started the long journey back from the Middle East like so many thousands of others.
I wish I could describe the emotions that I am experiencing right now, but literally, words fail me. I cannot adequately describe the internal joy and exuberance that is filling my entire being.
Telling our five year old that, "Daddy is on his way honey," is one of the best moments I have ever had.
I will blog more on this experience.
I would like to thank everyone who stops by and checks out my small tribute to the greatest military in the world!
I wish I could describe the emotions that I am experiencing right now, but literally, words fail me. I cannot adequately describe the internal joy and exuberance that is filling my entire being.
Telling our five year old that, "Daddy is on his way honey," is one of the best moments I have ever had.
I will blog more on this experience.
I would like to thank everyone who stops by and checks out my small tribute to the greatest military in the world!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
August 25th
Well, we have started making our very own signs because OUR Soldiers are on the way home SOON!!!!! Something about glitter and markers makes it seem real. Little hand prints and paints solidify the redeployment.
I will (obviously) be taking pictures of our signs and posting them.
3BSTB is on its way HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will (obviously) be taking pictures of our signs and posting them.
3BSTB is on its way HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
2nd Brigade is Home!
I took these just the other day on Schofield. 2nd Brigade just returned from a 15 month tour in Iraq. I am struck by how busy the base is all of a sudden. With two Brigades gone, we have had the run of the place since October. No traffic, no lines, and no daddies or mommies.
You can almost always tell a returning warrior by the everlasting grin on their face. They are just so happy. And they stand really close to their families. They are usually holding a toddler and the older children are gathered around them-touching them wherever they can reach- while they are talking and laughing with their wives. Its really cute actually.
Madison and I watch them from a distance.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Surprise Videos
I found these and decided to post a few of them. WARNING: prepare to cry! So heartwarming! I am so struck with the children's reactions. So raw and real. They don't care about politics or any fact other than.....daddy's home. I can sense both anger and relief in the tears they cry. And I love seeing how their little arms wrap so tightly around daddy's necks in such earnestness. Anyhow, grab your tissue and enjoy:
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Hawaii Homecoming
And this is where I welcomed my soldier home. He got home a few days before this group did. But, it was in the same hanger. I sat to the right of the stage (thanks Marnie!). It was an amazing experience. 15 months is a LONG LONG LONG time.
I am not sure who is responsible, but we were all given those beautiful purple/fushia Leis to put around our Soldier's necks. You can see one on General Mixon's neck. The entire hanger smelled like them and it was such a nice gesture. So.... to whomever made that possible......Thanks!
Anyhow, enjoy!
BTW: My soldier is currently back in Iraq serving his second tour. And I cant wait to be sitting back in this hanger!!!!!
I am not sure who is responsible, but we were all given those beautiful purple/fushia Leis to put around our Soldier's necks. You can see one on General Mixon's neck. The entire hanger smelled like them and it was such a nice gesture. So.... to whomever made that possible......Thanks!
Anyhow, enjoy!
BTW: My soldier is currently back in Iraq serving his second tour. And I cant wait to be sitting back in this hanger!!!!!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
A Very Special Video
This video is a friend of mine named Lauren and she is celebrating her Husband Nat coming home from Iraq. The Anchorage Daily News filmed this for an article.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Yellow Ribbons
Sigh. Yellow Ribbons. Yellow teardrops, yellow cries, yellow hopes. Into the yellow are all of the missed holidays, the missed births, the missed laughter and the missed and irreplaceable moments.
Ready Set GO!
12 or 15 months is a LONG LONG LONG time! I wish I could describe the emotions behind these pictures. To know he is in the same building as you are in is an incredible feeling! All of the time you have been apart is acutely front and present in that moment. The realization that he is HERE is overwhelming. Holding backs tears and trying not to completely break down are the number priority. The stupid formalities of the "welcome home ceremony" are almost to much to handle..........JUST LET ME HAVE MY HUSBAND!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
